Legal Disclaimer: All scenes featured here are historically accurate. Storyboard is heavily patented under creative license mandated by gawd, and any infringements on our copyright will result in sudden death. Please note that our film stylistically resembles Sin City, as it features Jessica ALba, and a black-and-white representation, with only certain, very key objects highlighted by vibrant color. Although first introduced by Robert Rodriguez, this use of Jessica Alba and a selective color scheme is actually also patented by us!
Sincerely,
Stacey, Matt, Shon, and Jake
(and Anna, who inspired us all even more than gizawd himself)
Although the origin of earrings is highly debated even amongst the most renowned circles of historians, evidence from the ancients suggests that they came into existence due to the work of a certain gizawd. As the following cave painting suggests, it all started when one girl lost her earrings. After hours of praying to gizawd, suddenly- her desperate pleas were answered!!
It was only a matter of days before earrings gained worldwide, univeral popularity. In fact, their athletic potential was soon noticed by Nike, the world's leading producer of sporting utilities. Nike saw the infinite possibilities of earing production and immediately employed about 1000,000,000 asian workers for the job.
Due to rapid earring production, as well as sheer boredome, the earring dance matured into a full-blown Olympic Sport. Earring masters from all over the world gathered every 4 years to compete for the gold. They trained all their life for this, furiously shaking their heads day in and day out. It all came down to this: who had the most skills? The most endurance? the most talent? Only Olympic judges could tell.
But not all earring athletes were full of integrity, the way that News staff is. The competition was cut-throat, and some turned to Earroids to improve their strength and ear-shape. The use of earroids was strictly forbidden, and always investigated, especially by Fox News. However, it was not always easy to tell whose ears were large from pure training, and whose ears were the results of muscle-building, color-inducing drugs.
Despite its contraversial nature, the earring dance became so popular that it soon turned into a Mating call, frequently used by Mails to attract females. Flowers, jewlery and chocoloate quickly turned obsolete, as females craved for only one thing: men who can shake their ears in a wild erotic frenzy.
Unfortunately,intense and continuous earring dance was not harmless. As humans soon discovered, long strenuous head-motions result in a VERY STIFF NECK.
Gizawd dually noted the stiffness of the human neck, and allowed people to evolve such that in the year of 5000, all homosapiens had long, flexible, and versatile necks. In fact, even Jessica Alba has evolved. But neither the 6000 years nor her new 3-foot long neck had any negative effects on how hot she is, or how much i want her body.
Humans were so pleased with their long necks, and with Jessica Alba, that they built a giant church to honor Gizawd- the one who oringally gave them earrings, long necks, and Jessica Alba. This house of gizawd features a giant stain-glass window, an earring hanging from 2nd floor, and lots of molestations.
In conclusion, the earrings have played an essential role in the development and evolution of mankind. They influenced our culture, sexuality and fascination with Jessica Alba to an extent that only our film was able to capture. We'd like to thank our parents.
Now fans, it is time for you to rate the film. Do you give it 5 starts of 6 stars? what appealed to you stylistically? What is your favorite scene and/or character?? Please be honest fans, as we will rely on your input when we produce the Earring sequel.