Fans, do you remember the West Coast Roadtrip ? This time, the News team traveled Italy by car.
Itenerary
We would roadrip all around italy, then meet Dead dad and skii in the dolomites!!! Dolomites are a type of italian mountain. Except, due to the surprise that's comping up shortly, the trip had a different ending. you'll see.
We landed in the venice airport, and right away it was time to rent a tinly little Ford Fiesta and drive to Pisa. The Pisa hostel we stayed in was actually not a hostal, but a nursing home. The ceiling has a HUGE fresco:
We would roadrip all around italy, then meet Dead dad and skii in the dolomites!!! Dolomites are a type of italian mountain. Except, due to the surprise that's comping up shortly, the trip had a different ending. you'll see.
We landed in the venice airport, and right away it was time to rent a tinly little Ford Fiesta and drive to Pisa. The Pisa hostel we stayed in was actually not a hostal, but a nursing home. The ceiling has a HUGE fresco:
Ceiling
with some kind of art
The tower was pretty heavy
Even working together was difficult
At the top of the tower, I looked hotter than ever
Even working together was difficult
At the top of the tower, I looked hotter than ever
The next day we drove to Port Santo
Stefano, a very little peninsular next to Rome. When we drove around,
the road was on a mountain, and it was full of these kinds of signs:
Thats why we went offroading on the side of the road
Thats why we went offroading on the side of the road
Then chris said "lets go to
Pescaserolli, a small town in the southern alps of italy, with a
population of only 20,000". I said ok. Again, our hostal was strange,
because the bathroom was made for midgets.
Typical pissing experience
Typical shower experience
(I always shower with my clothes on to save on laundry costs)
Typical shower experience
(I always shower with my clothes on to save on laundry costs)
The next day, we decided to go for
a hike in the italian alps. Incidentally it was the coldest day we've
seen yet, with snow and rain so heavy, even the roadsigns indicated a
storm warning:
nevertheless, we went to the
touring office, where the guide said- "do not go on a mountain trail
called H3 unless you have snow shoes" (the kind of shoes that eskimos
wear). But we were in luck, because Chris only brought a pair of ripped
sneakers, and I had my fake Gucci boots.
The trail was gorgeous
But we didn't understand why we
needed
snowshoes right away, because the first part of the trail looked like
this
We got some kind of clue why we needed snowshoes when the snow was up to my knees
The need for snowshoes became fully apparent only when the snow was up to my NECK!!
By the time we reached the top, it was almost dark. on the way back, it was completely dark!!! Wild carnivores were everywhere! we even saw a mountain goat!!! At the bottom of the mountain, we hitchhiked to get to our car. That's why that night, when we decided to splurge, and instead of our usual $10/night hostals, we stayed in the PALCE!!! (about $60/night)
At intersections, biggest cars always had right of way. Mammals also had right of way. Sometimes cars looked like red UFO's. Please refer to Exhibit A.
For lunch I had a wild boar (local specialty) sandwich with LOTS of peston and sundried tomato, and a huge piece of cheese on top. OMG it was SOO good, i have to post this pic
It was almost time to meet Dead Dad and go to the dolomites, so we spent our final night in Siena. The only notable thing about Siena is this big pizza:
And these tasty treats
We drove to venuce, returned our car, and realized our calendar was off by a day!! we had to wait one more day before dad, so we spent it wandering around venice.
No, we didn't
rent a gondola- that really long romantic boat in Venice, b/c it's too
expensive. We took the public water bus everywhere, that was romantic
enough.
That night, we were anxiously awaiting for dead dad. We were even a lilttle nervous! But suddenly, the phone rang! it was dead dad!!! he said "I am still in russia. we shall not go to the dolomites. Instead we shall ski in Switzerland". SURPRISE!!!
We had to take about 293843 trains to get to the Swiss Alps. Fortunately, we were staying in Gstaad, which is the most poshest town in the entire Europe. Our hotel had a built in Lou Viutown store! You know- those bags that are like gucci bags? Our hotel was full of really abnoxious rich russians with many slutty wifes.
The town was so expensive, even the cheapest thing, after the 75% off sale cost over 300$$
We got some kind of clue why we needed snowshoes when the snow was up to my knees
The need for snowshoes became fully apparent only when the snow was up to my NECK!!
Also, the top of the mountain was
very steep and the trail often lied above a fiery pit. Animals
everywhere, we were constantly in danger!! Here's the trail map:
By the time we reached the top, it was almost dark. on the way back, it was completely dark!!! Wild carnivores were everywhere! we even saw a mountain goat!!! At the bottom of the mountain, we hitchhiked to get to our car. That's why that night, when we decided to splurge, and instead of our usual $10/night hostals, we stayed in the PALCE!!! (about $60/night)
PALAZZO
Fans, at every
minute, the road was congested with people, other cars, and even small
mammals. there were NO roadsigns, only parking spots everywhere.For dinner I had a 10 course meal,
many gnocchis, pastas, pizzas, cheeses, even lambs, and veals. Chris
ate pizza marinara, which is a cheeseless pizza, aka some bread with
tomato sauce.
The next day we headed south and decided to do some shopping in Naples. I LOVE shopping. Too bad the Naples roadmap looks like a bowl of spagetti.
The next day we headed south and decided to do some shopping in Naples. I LOVE shopping. Too bad the Naples roadmap looks like a bowl of spagetti.
Haha, Just kidding, it actualy
looks like this
Exhit A: Sometimes we weren't sure
if we were looking at a menu or a traffic light
At intersections, biggest cars always had right of way. Mammals also had right of way. Sometimes cars looked like red UFO's. Please refer to Exhibit A.
Exhibit B: the traffic flow
relative to our car
Even snow-piled-onto-a-car snowman!
So of course, we made our own snowman
Snowman Cam
Due to Exhibits A &B, we
decided to avoid major cities for the rest of the trip. No fans, we did
not go to Florence or Milan or Bologny, please stop asking.
The next day we went to versuvius-
which is some kind of explosive volcano south of Naples.
It was so snowing, our car could not make it all the way to the top. We had to hitchike again, and some italians said 'come into our car'. But it took so long to drive b/c of skidding, the crater was already closed when we got there! But that's ok, b/c in Italy, they have a tradition called: "Always go to Versuvious, and if it snows, build a snowman on your car". EVERYBODY WAS DOING IT! People made all kinds of snowman.
It was so snowing, our car could not make it all the way to the top. We had to hitchike again, and some italians said 'come into our car'. But it took so long to drive b/c of skidding, the crater was already closed when we got there! But that's ok, b/c in Italy, they have a tradition called: "Always go to Versuvious, and if it snows, build a snowman on your car". EVERYBODY WAS DOING IT! People made all kinds of snowman.
Fatty Snowman
Blurry Snowman
Blurry Snowman
Even snow-piled-onto-a-car snowman!
So of course, we made our own snowman
Snowman Cam
We were a lilttle sad we didnt get
to see the crater, so we headed to the Amalfi coast. It was the nicests
coast i've ever seen- fans, you have to go there soon.
We found a very small town and
decided to spend a few days there- especcially New Years. During
the day we saw Pompei, which is ancient ruins from Roman Times,
destroyed by Versuvius.
We had a guide
who paired us up with some guy from CA. This guy was very nice, but
every few minutes, he said "wait a minute, I think I'm missing a step
here". For instance
When we got back to the amalfi coast, I ate lots of pastas, mozarellas, fishes, even salmons and cods, and tiramisus. Chris had pizza marinara, which again, is a cheeseless pizza.
Then it was time for NEW YEARS!!!! We were staying in a very small town, so they had a local celebration by the beach. We were the only tourists there! In Italy, they have a New Years tradition, called "throw the fireworks everywhere".!! there were flames and bombardments on all sides, lots of fireworks launched even by youngsters!!
When we got back to the amalfi coast, I ate lots of pastas, mozarellas, fishes, even salmons and cods, and tiramisus. Chris had pizza marinara, which again, is a cheeseless pizza.
Then it was time for NEW YEARS!!!! We were staying in a very small town, so they had a local celebration by the beach. We were the only tourists there! In Italy, they have a New Years tradition, called "throw the fireworks everywhere".!! there were flames and bombardments on all sides, lots of fireworks launched even by youngsters!!
Then they had a dance party for
kids- all the children danced to music and the adults took pictures and
films. We also danced very special coreography, called the robot dance,
the superman dance, and the mr and mrs smith dance. The locals said
"prego pizza fettuccini mucho nungo!" which translates to "They have
very strange dances in america!"
The next day, we decided to try to see the Versuvious crate again. Our second visit was only slightly less successful than the first one, as it was so foggy the visibility was less than 2ft/person:
Then, I threw up b/c I was a little sick from drinking on New Years. Chris made a really dumb joke about how I errupted on Versuvius.
We headed towards Ovierto- a town in central italy where they have jazz festivals. It's also famouse for wine, and a million caves that lie beneath. Everbody in the town has a cave in their house!! These caves are used for resources and sometimes, to breed pidgeons!!
The next day, we decided to try to see the Versuvious crate again. Our second visit was only slightly less successful than the first one, as it was so foggy the visibility was less than 2ft/person:
Then, I threw up b/c I was a little sick from drinking on New Years. Chris made a really dumb joke about how I errupted on Versuvius.
We headed towards Ovierto- a town in central italy where they have jazz festivals. It's also famouse for wine, and a million caves that lie beneath. Everbody in the town has a cave in their house!! These caves are used for resources and sometimes, to breed pidgeons!!
For all dungeons and dragons
masters, they also have a HUGE medieval well.
For lunch I had a wild boar (local specialty) sandwich with LOTS of peston and sundried tomato, and a huge piece of cheese on top. OMG it was SOO good, i have to post this pic
It was almost time to meet Dead Dad and go to the dolomites, so we spent our final night in Siena. The only notable thing about Siena is this big pizza:
And these tasty treats
We drove to venuce, returned our car, and realized our calendar was off by a day!! we had to wait one more day before dad, so we spent it wandering around venice.
That night, we were anxiously awaiting for dead dad. We were even a lilttle nervous! But suddenly, the phone rang! it was dead dad!!! he said "I am still in russia. we shall not go to the dolomites. Instead we shall ski in Switzerland". SURPRISE!!!
We had to take about 293843 trains to get to the Swiss Alps. Fortunately, we were staying in Gstaad, which is the most poshest town in the entire Europe. Our hotel had a built in Lou Viutown store! You know- those bags that are like gucci bags? Our hotel was full of really abnoxious rich russians with many slutty wifes.
Typical Russian skier
The town was so expensive, even the cheapest thing, after the 75% off sale cost over 300$$
Before dead dad came, we had a full
day, so we made a really expensive sled out of cardboard box we found
in the trash and went sledding on the slopes!
I went sledding on the children's
merry-go round.
We spent about
a week in Gstaad, skiing, eating swiss sausages, and beers. Even
sometimes italian food. It very nice, the hotel had a salt water pool.
Unfortunately, we couldnt change our plane tickets, so we had to take
an overnight train back to Venice. We also had a really long layover in
the Amsterdam airport. To kill some time, we threw gian
salmon sushis on the floor
We also gambled on a slut machine called Asian Princess
We also gambled on a slut machine called Asian Princess
In conclusion, the trip was full of
surprises and especially gambling.
back to News so surprising
back to News so surprising