Topless

Fans, in case you still didn't know the most latest News ever: I finally found someone who loves to be topless just as much as I do and moved in with him immediately.

My house/soul mate




Of course, I had to adjust my lifestyle quite a bit. Remember, prior to Chris moving in, my apartment looked like this:




As soon as Chris moved in, all of the above had to change. Especially the mousepad.

New mousepad




Many other things were added to the apartment, including extra space. That's right fans: my apartment, which happens to be analogous to my ass, actually looks bigger now than ever before.

Housemate = extra space




Along with the extra space, came another bonus: one more topless person in my home!!!!

Exhibit A




Exhibit B




In addition to being topless, Chris also made me watch Star Wars. So I gave it a shot, and you know what? It wasn't as bad as I expected, but the plot was VERY confusing. Dark power against Wasabi, princess LALALA, lots of glowstick weapons- these images were all intermingled to form a complex plot that was way too hard to follow. Fortunately, I was able to summarize the storyline in the following picture:



Star Wars Plot Summary






To celebrate our successful household, we had a housewarming party which roughly looked liked like this:




It wasn't until the next morning that we were able to calculate exactly how much beer was poured into my huge mouth.




Additionally, I have come to face several dilemas:

  1. Should I go to law school or PhD school?

  2. What is Phd?

  3. OMG, how can I get into Stanford?

  4. Is Algorithm Theft really OK?

To answer these complicated questions, I decided to do a comparative analysis by first asking everybody on my buddy list the following question:

What is better, law school or PhD school?

I received the following responses:

-”huh.... law school is grad school
phd is after grad
whos this anyway”



-”Just join the CIA and get trained as a special agent.”



-”Why do you always send me that website? Wtf”



-”I dunno... which one has a better Tshirt?”



These answers were almost as confusing as Star Wars, so I decided to first take a look at the requirements to get into Phd School and to get into Law school. For law school, I have to take LSAT, for PhD school- GRE. To me, the tests are very similar because both:

-cause obeseity, as they are a great excuse to eat chocolate during all practice and real tests

-allow me to fart among large groups of people

-have questions that don't make any sense

Sample LSAT question:

True or False:

Some bold men are generous, and not all generous people are kind, but those who are kind can sometimes be bold and generous. There exist either men or women who are neither generous nor kind. Therefore, some men are not bold.

Sample GRE question:

Caterpiallar::Octagonal Trapezoid

a. cow::muffin
b. octupus::tracctor
c. linear vector::cabbage
d. left thumb::bubblesort



Here's what the average testing experience is like:






Of course, the above image does not really sway me towards either type of school. This matter can only be settled with a venn diagram that looks like a table.

Law School

PhD School

Have to take LSAT.

Have to take GRE

Have to wear gucci bag

Have to wear garbage bag

Sometimes, essays and exams

No exams, but computers

Sometimes have to buy pen and paper

Also, pen and paper

Endoursed by dead dad

Endoursed by jiggy



And now, a formal definition of ALGORITHM THEFT, brought to you by Wikipedia:



Algorithm Theft: noun (a-lgo-rítm théft)

  1. One day, I sit in class, and suddenly, I raise my hand and say an agorithm. The professor says “Ok, lets hear from someone else”. Two minutes later, we hear from someone else, but do you know what we hear??!!!! The SAME algorithm I said, only different. The professor says “correct” and that someone gets all the credit for MY algorithm.

  2. Negative 749781389741928741732400000 integrity



The end!!!



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