Dear fans,
You can finally show your dedication to world's first dynamically updated, debugged and spell-checked website by purchasing News Tshirts.
Shirts are very cheap and come
in many size. If you're skinny you can get a small. If you're a fatty,
but not too fat, you can get medium or large. If you're REALLY REALLY
fat, do not worry fans. I called factory in Russia and they will send
XXLarge shirts soon, but they might be made of nuclear waste.
If you're ugly- still no problem- News does not discriminate against ugly fans. All News fans are #1 fans.
The front of all shirts looks like this:
The back of the cheap shirt, only $10.19 is this:
This back
is very tastefull- very classical type of shirt will make a great
outfit to work or to a first date. you can always impress your
sweetheart by being very aware of world's best News site. When I wear
this shirt to a date, my boyfriend says "ZOMG". When I wear this shirt
to work on business casual days, my coworkers immediately give me silly
string.
But... if you have some extra money to spend and want to impress your parents, you should buy this shirt (only $15.41):
With thanksgiving less that 2
weeks away, buy this shirt NOW and wear it to turkey dinner. Your
relatives will be very proud.
Also, shirts make great gifts for holiday season- you can send them to granpa or even couzin. It is much better than soap or candles- why do americans always give me candlesticks as gifts? This year, be different- do not buy soap that smells like a flower. Buy a News Shirt- it will be cheap and very useful. It may smell bad.
To place your order, please send email to News Sales department at sales@newssohot.com
Thank you fans. If you can not afford Tshirts- do not worry. News raffle will be coming soon! for only $10.19, you can buy a ticket to win a cheap Tshirt or for only $15.41, ticket to buy the expensive shirt. These tickets will be put into a potato sack and randomly, one ticket will be picked. The winner will get a shirt!!!!