Illegal disclaimer: so for those of you who still don't know, and for the rest of your who are wondering why i haven't posted this on News any sooner: pete and i went our separate ways. which means the counter-clockwise roadtrip has been postponned indefinitely yet again. which means i'm stuck in nyc for another month before i peace out for russia. which means i have to find 923874298473 ways to amuse myself. Fortunately I have a PhD in amusement, with a minor concentration in kiddings. For those of you who do not have such advanced formal backround in either of the professional fields, I have compiled a list of amusement activities for you to try at home.
Legal disclaimer: do not try these at home.
activity:
build a pc with 23908472987421312431823947 heating issues
amusement level:
4
details:
processor
mobo
RAM
video card
hard drive
case
ps
cd/dvd burner (for legal activities only)
activity:
shmooze heavyweight computer parts out of your friends and make your kid sister haul them around all over grand central
amusement level:
8
details:
it was raining the day my sister and her tiny friend carried a 500lb monitor and 800lb powerPC into grand central. i met them with a shopping cart, but it was no help against the seasonal monsoons. luckily we were approached by a homeless dude who asked us if we remembered jim morrison. unluckily, we still did not have even 1 (one) umbrella. hours later, a janitor offered us a huge janitor bag which we used to cover the monitor. the plastic made the hardware slippery and nearly impossible to handle up and down the stairs.
activity:
take prom pictures of your sister
amusement level:
2 before kiddings started, 6 after kiddings started
details:
none
activity:
exhibit a HUGE mouth in every single picture
amusement activity:
4
details:
ever since the robot picture, i noticed that my mouth is abnormally large. lets take a look at the following exhibits:
activity:
google images of sling to kickstart your carreer as a sling model
amusement level:
9
details:
activity:
get your kid sister hopelessly lost in the bronx
amusement level:
10
details:
we tried to go to the zoo, but ended up taking the 6 subway line instead of the 5. in conclusion, we were stranded in the middle of the bronx, the bus being our only hope of making it to the zoo. but i've never taken even 1 (one) bus before in my life!!! (except in russia). the first couple of buses we tried weren't even on the correct route. of course we found this out AFTER we already paid for the ride. when we finally found the right bus, our metrocards were out of money and the bus driver insisted we pay in KOINS (which we didnt have). we were the 3 whitest girls in the area, wandering around the bronx and asking people for change!!!! finally some store gaves us $2 nickel rolls. dumping these into the next available bus took about 10 minutes per person. I went first, and by the time i finished with all my koins, the entire bus was wondering why it sounded like vegas. to make matters worse, my sister and i broke into maniacal laughter and started taking pictures while the bus driver was still waiting for us to pay so he could finally proceed with the route. when we were finally done, everyone on the bus was giving us a stare of death. we felt slightly uncomfortable and laughed even harder. fortunately about 2893742 guys in the back of the bus kept waving to us throughout the entire ride. oh yea, the zoo animals were totally worth it.
activity:
help your kid sister film the spanish version of Aladin for class
amusement level:
6
details:
my job consisted of filming. and by filming, i mean inserting witty spanglish commentary into every scene. and by commentary, i mean running through all the shots in weird animal costumes and screaming 'I'M EL ENIMAL!!!"
activity:
carefully label all images of yourself for clarification
amusement level:
9
details:
