Allison Holker is opening up about navigating the unexpected financial burden following her husband Stephen “tWitch” Boss’ death.

During a conversation on SoFi’s talk show Richer Lives with Vivian Tu, the So You Think You Can Dance judge, 36, admitted her late husband’s death had a “huge” financial impact on their family.

“It was really hard. So I think it’s a really important conversation to have, because you can’t really prep for something like this,” she said of tWitch dying by suicide at age 40 in December 2022. “I would have never saw my life going down this kind of path.”

“And after everything happened, of course, I was recently getting so much love from everyone,” she continued. “And I was getting a lot of support from people in the sense of emotion but what people did not realize was there’s so much more to go into this, besides just emotion.”

In the aftermath of the tragedy, Holker said she was almost immediately taking meetings to figure out finances.

“Financially, the day after my husband’s passing, I was immediately having to take meetings about taxes, about contracts that were existing and that he was at breach of contract,” she recalled. “Now are those contracts going to exist? Where will my income come from now that he’s out of breach of contract because a lot of our businesses were together?”

As she navigated her own grief and parenting her children — Zaia, 4, and Maddox, 8, and Weslie, 16 — Holker realized those meetings were necessary to move forward.

“I was like, you know what, no one else is gonna be able to do this for me especially now and we’ve already lost so much, I can’t lose that,” she recalled.

“I took that role and I said, ‘You know what this is actually, what’s gonna help me survive…This is really, really hard, but I think this is a gift from the universe. Being like, you need to fix this, this is gonna help you grieve at the same time, take care of everything and don’t look back,” she continued. “I was not going to be a person that grieves first and then does it after as I can’t lose more.”

Holker also noted that her late husband left her “in a bit of a bind” when it came to the couple’s brand deals.

“I had to allow some brands or some opportunities that were in the works, I had to let some of them go,” she said. “I had to be grateful that I had the chance to talk with those people and also understand that what they received was not what they signed up for. We were always the happy go lucky couple with a beautiful family, and now when people saw me at that moment, they saw sadness, and that’s not what brands were looking for.”

She added: “I kind of became unhirable for a moment, and contracts that were existing were like, that’s not what we signed up for and I had to be like, I understand, because it’s also not what I signed up for. So I can’t be mad at them. I understood.”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

However, some brands stood by the professional dancer amid the loss. She explains, “But luckily, there were so many incredible brands that were like, ‘You know what? We’re gonna stay at your side and help you through this.’”

If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.