“When there are millions of people commenting on it [your relationship], it’s so hard not to be affected by it.”

Over a year after his brief reconciliation with Camila Cabello ended, Shawn Mendes is ready to talk about what it was like for them to deal with their relationship being so public. Mendes appeared on the podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty and spoke with its host, Jay Shetty, about how “brutal” the experience was for both of them, even though they were able to keep the most intimate details of their love story private.

He explained, “I mean, honestly, I think Camila and I have just done the best job at preserving our private lives. Little fire of love for each other, because no matter how strong mentally you are, when there are millions of people commenting on it, it’s so hard not to be affected by it, and to be swayed by it, and to be inspired by it, and to desire it because people desire it, or to hate it because people hate it, and it’s just human.

“And I feel like her and I have just like worked extremely hard to just protect each other, and protect that love, you know, and I learned a lot about that. And it’s part of it. It’s definitely part of it. And there’s no getting away from that. But if I’m being completely honest, I don’t really go on social media anymore.

“So I don’t really see or care what people say about my love life or my relationships because it’s just, it’s honestly too detrimental to the actual relationship itself that I’ve become pretty strict on that part of it, you know, but it’s crazy, man. This is not a movie.”

Mendes then stressed that being famous doesn’t take away the vulnerability that comes with being human. “Celebrities are, you know, sometimes maybe they think they are and sometimes they literally are, but like it isn’t a movie [we’re acting in]. This is real life. This is real love, and love is confusing and hard and goes through dips and goes through pauses, goes through breaks, goes through so much. And so, I really feel for everyone who goes through that, you know. I just feel like as a celebrity, I just want to just come at it and be really truthful from the place of, this is what love is like for me, you know.”

Shetty asked how Mendes and Cabello protected their relationship from online chatter. “For me and for us, I think immense honesty, just like over-communication,” he said. “You know, like, ‘I felt this way when I was doing this interview, and I said this thing, and I felt weird, and I’m sorry if it came off like that. You know, I love you and…it just immediately cuts through any type of assumption that I could make or she could make from anything.

“And, you know, we’re both amazing at that,” he added. “I’ll be the first to text her. She’ll be the first to text me. And we just, as long as we’re good, we’re good. All the noise is just noise, and that’s been a huge part of it.”

He added that they both respect each other’s artistry, and the fact their bond may inspire music that tells “the story of the heart. And that’s just a big part of it. And we both are very aware of that, you know, so just having respect for the fact that we’re storytellers, you know?”